Tiffany

There isn't much to summarize for these past few days. But its mostly breathing training to try and calm myself down from frustration and madness. Haha.
This morning, we returned our phones and I kinda got a bit teary reading Ivan's lame messages on Whatsapp haha. Freaking Hazim asked me why I cried =.= I totally turned my back on him and ignored him. hehe. Then we had a damn boring ceramah about drugs. I swear they had the worst slide show ever. And the worst group activity ever.
And I terskip lunch today. Note : TERSKIP. I forgot there's lunch time. =.=

Then, we had kembara halangan and Cikgu Abbas sort of had a motivation talk for us and I was kinda sad about it. Azyan isn't participating cos' she said she had a boyfriend and she didn't want to feel ashamed...
wtf.
The more I think of it, the more I felt like a terrible leader.
I'm trying!!! ><!
 I did the name list of the participants for Kembara Halangan and we discussed our strategy. It was exhausting but at least Bravo is cooperating.

Later that evening, we had our dorms checked by commander himself and left us like 10 minutes to shower. Haha.. And we managed to do so T.T ish.

Nearly woke up late again today :/ Anyway, we had sex education this morning in class. It was completely useless because it doesn't really cover the important stuffs.
Hmm... We balaks2 were super busy today because we implemented a new system. I don't know but to me, its totally just for image purposes. We had to make sure everyone walked 3 by 3 and in a barisan everytime after we got out from the dewan makan. Isabel's idea. Well, it really waste a lot of time and energy and by the time everyone reached the hill, its a mess already. So, what's the point? I tried suggesting about another way, but, yeah, I TRIED.
Azyan wasn't doing such a great help today either. Bravo was the last to come out from our dorms today for the first time because of her. Then, the jurulatih announced that we can wear baju awam. But Non - Muslims have to baju kelas. Do you know how potong it feels?! T.T

At night, we had buddhist class. Its eating and sleeping session in class, basically. Haha.. fun times with friends. Haris belanjaed the whole group burger again. -.-
Then, before going to sleep, us balaks2 had a meeting again. It was seriously frustrating because it kept running off topic =.= Jeez.

Woke up at 5.45am today together with Sece, Hui Wan, Voon and Siaw Pei. We are supposed to gather at padang kawad by 6.15am actually... And yeah, all of us are literally rushing to brush teeth, wash our face and change. But we didn't have PT today ._. We literally wore PT clothes down to padang kawad until 7.30am then change to baju kelas. Ever since we got back from CNY holidays, schedule are pretty tight - with classes, not marching activities -.- We started Module 4 today and I was still in the same group with Ashraff, Naz, Sece and Mai. Ayyad, Shalu and Maxly volunteered to change to Group 5 :/ dayummm... sad lah. Module 4 was a bit awkward because it was sex related. Except its just the general knowledge we learn in science lol
After class, I realized that the wind season had stopped. ITS FREAKING HOT. I was sweating throughout the entire session of map reading. Yes, we have map reading in the afternoon. I thought it would be awesome, learning how to read a map and all, but I was wrong. It was literally Chapter 1 of Geography Form 1. We learnt about coordinates and how to read a map. And what is a compass.
LOL.
Then, we had to skip shower time to write our names for the photos we ordered. I looked stupid in both class photo and company photo. Haha. Maybe because I was squinting my eyes, so my eyes were small. So I dont look so ... me. haha.
At night, Haris belanja-ed Malaysia Cute burgers. Like seriously, that was so nice of him to do so. haha.. rich kid. :P

We got scolded in the morning because we didn't bring our phones down during PT. Who on earth brings their phone during exercise?! ._. And it's the first time we actually have to bring our phones down during PT. So, yeah, basically we got our phones confiscated by 7.40am. Then, as usual, we had our classes. I'm pretty relieved that we didn't change our groups or whatsoever because I'm kinda happy with my group members :D We had an organization planning activity thingy in class, and our organization's name was INFINITY. Hahaha, it was my suggestion and they took it.. Ehem :P Class continued after lunch till tea time, it was a hella boring.
I don't know what kuih they gave, but it looked terrible ._. Hazim called it kuih eraser hahaha...
Hmm.. Also, I'm planning to go strict on my members already, I mean, my members begin to take advantage of me just because I'm less strict than Azyan. But again, why so serious? Unless its in barisan lah.. Talking about barisan, I was really frustrated with Azyan today. We literally had a debate in front of Bravo wirawati in the padang kawad that 7+2=10. <== what?!
I mean, seriously?! And she insisted that it was 10 instead of 9. I was totally speechless at her failure in maths. But she got her senses back after I told her to use her fingers to count.
At night back at our dorm, Naz and Eima told me that I'd been talking in my sleep again. And then, suddenly, they went all honest on me, telling me that I'd started so before CNY. And they said, I even cried once.
What.

Time flew! CNY holidays totally ended like in a blink of an eye? haha..
Anyway, "home" sweet "home"~ I brought basically just food back to camp. lol
By the time I reached camp, Hui Xin was there too. And we accompanied each other back to dorms, but then there were teachers on duty to check our bags. I feel sorry for them, cos' one of them said, "Anak Cina ni, tak payah bawa beg besar sangat!!"
Jeez, sorry.
By the time I had all my stuff arranged in my locker, it was already 5pm. Took me an hour to pack everything, phew. Hmm... Naz brought a lot of food. A LOT. Like, a few bags of it? And her mom even cooked us spaghetti ^^ hehe..
Pui Ing was more than glad to see us back and at night, she told me a lot of stuffs about what happened during the CNY holidays. They went to Melaka apparently and she showed me a lot of pictures she took. Haha... She's like a small kid, talking about her experiences excitedly :)
We got to sleep early tonight, so I'm not gonna waste that chance of sleeping!!! Nights :)

We had to wear full loreng today because we're having photoshoot session. I'm not good in tying my hair into a bun so Pui Ing had to do it for me. I shouldn't have my hair layered before I came for camp T.T Things were pretty rush this morning, Azyan overslept after she came back from her morning prayers T.T She was supposed to duty today, I guess I'll just take over her part since she looked tired as hell.
Hmm.. Photoshoot was okay, except the wind was strong and it was pretty sunny when I took my class photo. I mean, I can't open my eyes -.-
Oh yeah, I had a photo with Hazim too.
Tah daaaaa...
ugh my hair.
Then, in the afternoon, we had activities like A frame, dice game thingy, some crawling lol and transporting a bucket of water from one end till the other end. It was fun tho, until Yan decided to show her power as a 2 Balak -.- its like, we're having fun and then you/re just there showing off like ... jeez. But yeah, okay lah...

Hmm, we're going home for CNY break in 2 more days~!

*Next post is after CNY holidays ^^ BACK TO CAMP! 

Monday and its Bravo wirawati's turn for the beep test D: It's stupid. We did like 5 minutes of warming up and then 3..2..1.. BEEP~! HOLY **** WE GOTTA RUN WITHOUT PROPER WARMING UP?!
Yeah, I reached level 3-7, IT WAS TERRIBLE. My past record was level 5 =.= Isabel was complaining too hahaha, she's a runner tho :) Anyway, class was a bit boring until the end, we had juggling competition. I had no idea what I was doing, seriously. After morning tea, we continued the lessons and it was boring UNTIL the end. We had catwalk session where everyone had to do actions while they walked on the 'red carpet' but the actions cannot be repeated. Since I was last row to do it, Hazim suggested that I flip my hair cos' no one did it yet.
And I freaking did it.
Malu sial.

We had another PC lesson in the afternoon. Omaigod it was a total waste of time. We only learnt 5 types of transport in 2 and a half hour. WTF.... Not even bandaging?! =.= Under the hot sun too... jeez.
Night was the usual tho :P

Sunday~! :D Buddhist class was usually boring, but today we did a little singing :D My voice hadn't healed and was still croaky... but still, singing :D heh Then, we had Chrysanthemum tea and tofu sandwich for morning tea. Finally, the taste of Chinese food~ ^^
After lunch back in camp, our group had our practice for the sketch. I was the main character DUE TO THE LACK OF CHINESE GIRLS IN MY GROUP and Haris was my 'fiance'. hahahaha T.T (cry) Ashraff and K did some editing with the script and the story line. It was ridiculously malu because we have a marriage proposal scene and the only time I ever got proposed with guy kneeling down in front of me was Ivan for prom night. Ugh. Then we have crying scenes. Sad scenes. Both-families-nearly-gonna-fight-each-other scene. Singing 1Malaysia scene.
Its just a sketch, after all...
Hmm.. then, Ashraff told me a bit about himself. His school got swimming pool. <== wtf
And he was in a quite a number of relationships before, I forgot the number but I was like wtf.
This guy, Ashraff, <== wtf
That's the only thing I can actually think of him at that time. Haha.. But he's a great guy :)
I got heavily sunburnt apparently, because everytime I take off my specs, I looked like a panda. Oh, well, back to the St John days :)
At night, while waiting for the Muslims to finish their prayers, Satheesh, Jasmynn, Hui Wan and I repainted the flag cos' the paint got all cracked up. It wasn't completely done after the Muslims got back, but its something :D

Hazim asked for my number today. Hmm... weird =.= I'd never knew that guys here pikat girls just like that, but I gave him anyway *regrets* ehem.
Anyway, its Bravo to duty today and Pooja did the ikrar this morning. Classes was great today, we had to do performance related to vision of Malaysia. I don't know why, but the thought of a love story came into my mind. Since my group members decided on perpaduan, the love story thing fits even more. And I suggested that idea. And I had to write the script. A love story between a Chinese girl and a Malay guy. Gao dim.
Then, when I told Pui Ing about it, the first thing she said, "You so fast plan your marriage with Hazim already?"
Sheesh =.=

Then, we had another Pertolongan Cemas lesson in the afternoon. It was about CPR and choking. Before starting the lessons, the jurulatihs apologized to all of us girls that if they taught the wrong stuff, we should raise up our hands to correct them. WHAT. That was so ridiculous. In the end, that Charlie teacher called me up to demo the whole set of CPR and choking procedure. Together with Hui Wan (hahaha) and Azyan (she volunteered). Both Hui Wan and I are St. John so we don't really have a problem but Yan... She was like a clown on stage /.\ |||

*Finally got the freedom to continue my NS posts lol so here it is :) 
I didn't have a good sleep at all. Its just heavy, chesty coughs the entire night. At PT this morning, we had the first beep test (multi stage fitness test) from those involved in the program gaya hidup sihat. Its been a long time since I did the test, I guess I'm gonna be worse than before -.- Then, we had terrible char kuey teow for breakfast..wait, was it even char kuey teow? -.- Anyway, as usual, we changed to our baju kelas and gathered at padang kawad again at 8.45am. I got dizzy again and was 'carried' to medic. Mana tau, the medic dude looked at me and said, 'Kau lagi?"
Sorry for being such a weak link, dude. So I requested for a 2 hours rest. He insisted 1 hour. I said fine. And then I went to sleep at the resting room for 4 hours :P haha. Then, the nurse woke me up later and gave me MC and medicines :) I must say, I was happy. Finally, I could rest :) And basically, I slept for the rest of the day, till night. I actually went to Buddhist class, but the cough syrup was strong and I couldn't stop feeling drowsy /.\ So I went back to my dorm and just sleep.
LOL

We didnt do much today but I made a card for dad :) as usual but this year its a bit different :) 

I literally slept for only 2 hours that day. I was on the laptop till 3.30am, went to to sleep forcefully, woke up at 5.30am all hyped up. Insomnia at its best. I was targeting for 9A+ on Jan, then as paranoia kicked in, 6A+ will do. Dad was even worse.

Fainted in padang kawad this morning before going in for class. My knees felt extremely weak and my head hurts like crap. Voon and Hui Wan had to support me to medic and all I got was 2 hours of rest.

ohkay =.=

Anyway, before lunch, we had pemakaian pangkat. Trust me, I nearly cried out of frustration and anger when Charlie switched balaks. And then Cikgu Atiqah just stood there, like it was nothing. She was definitely glad that Yan got it instead of me. Yeah.  World is unfair right?

Apparently, I had an appointment today. I totally forgot about it. So I took the chance to get cough meds and antibiotics :) Haha... More meds again =.= haih....  After that, we had kawad practice during noon. We practiced from 2pm to 4pm. I was extremely irritated with Yan's voice, shouting commands and showing off her kawad. Gosh, I know she is some national level kawad human but please, be humble !! ><

I was like her dog, following her request to demo to everyone while she shouted the command. The problem is she kept giving the orders in the wrong time! And it make everyone confused!!! :( And Cikgu Atiqah said, in front of everyone, "Tiffany, ko betul2 ada pengalaman kawad tak? Kalau tak, biar orang lain demo jer. Tak payah ingat ko 1 Balak perlu buat semua."

Haih.

*Shit, its 2.30pm. Heaviest insomnia.*

Woke up constantly at night due to heavy coughs. The cough syrup given by medic isn't working and I could feel a fever kicking in. The thought of Azyan being the 2 balak hit me and I felt, terrible. After all I'd did... Haih. *Deep breaths*

Class today was the last day for Module 1. I had a really heavy cough in class and it was totally embarassing. Lucky I was sitting beside the door, so with Ashraff's call, I went to toilet to calm down. I managed to get MC today but it was wrong timing. As I was sleeping halfway in bilik rehat, I was told that there was a practice for 'pemakaian pangkat'. Shit is real. So I skipped my MC and went for practice at night. Sick but I managed to pull through. So proud of myself haha... Complicated feelings at night too... I mean, why.

Just, why do I always happened to be the 2nd choice for everything? T.T

Moodless today.
Cikgu Dauz chose the balaks today. Not exactly choose also cos' Yan straight away took the pen and wrote her name under the 2 Balak section.

It was a total heartbreaking reality for me to accept. She didn't even called me out to write, she wrote her name first. Devastating. Seriously. 3 months under her? I can't do it man, she is so controlling. So close - minded...
Holy shit.

Sore throat! :( But its presentation day /.\ I'm kinda nervous since we had to present everything in BM.

Anyway, PT this morning was awesome. We got to RUN! :D :D :D I can finally feel my nerves stretching properly after days of useless warming up ever since I got here =.= Breakfast sucks as usual, so I skipped it.
Talking about what's happening next. Hah, an interesting day in class, I tell you.

Today, I decided to sit beside Pooja in the front row of class. And Aisyah, a Malay Charlie girl from Tawau, introduced herself to me in MANDARIN. I was like, holy shit, you don't see Malays speaking Mandarin as fluent as her, of course, with a touch of BM slang, but still, its a total respect :) Without even knowing her for more than 15 minutes, she pointed to me to a guy, called Hazim. First impression : He actually looked not bad. Not the handsome type but yeah, I gotta admit, he got the attractive looks. She told me, "He is my Prince Charming :)" in Mandarin. 10 minutes later, I forgotten what activity we did, but we got to talk a bit. He called my name, spoke in Bm and I replied him in English hahaha... I was confused on how he knew my name, but then I recalled, we wore freaking name tags. And when teacher announced that we had to do a sketch, the leaders have to go out and take our gilirans. He was there in front too, we took our papers, exchanged smiles, and went back to our groups. For that moment, I think Aisyah was jealous. But I didn't thought much and begin discussing with my group :) I chose the gangster character, no one agreed to it but
 yeah, they kinda accepted my request in the end. They have no idea I'm probably the most garang one in the group haha.
*help*

Anyway, PRESENTATION. Everything went well. I can't believe my BM was fluent. At least much better than I expected. Komander complimented us about our presentation arrangements ^^ but he then said our flag don't have the name "Warisan Pahlawan" on it. What. OKAAYYY...

At night, we had Buddhist class. And we got 3 Chinese books written in traditional Chinese. *trying very hard to read*

We're supposed to do the pembinaan pasukan stuffs today and since Azyan is the leader together with K, I'm just busy with the flag along with Satheesh. This time, we finished it together with Jasmynn and Pooja. Despite being busy with the flag for 3 long days, Azyan and her gang hadn't even conclude our sorakan and lagu. like what the effing shit? I was kinda frustrated with her attitude lah, nak imej jer. So I asked her how was everything going. She scolded and swore, and said she didnt have the semangat to do it and sat down on a chair. Ignoring the world, ignoring the deadlines. I was pretty pissed off but being a "helpful" member of Bravo, I took over. Frustrating night, really. Ahhh, I can't believe I have to deal with princess attitudes for 3 months! D:

*Its 1.15am now. Shit. SPM results in 10 more hours.

Too tired to even bother to write, jeez. Cikgu Atiqah told me that she was gonna choose Azyan to be the ketua Bravo Wirawati today cos' she said the protocol is Muslim as ketua and Non-Muslim as penolong ketua. I was devastated cos' Yan never really did anything except for scolding the members, though they're innocent at times... :(  What a way to start the morning.

Anyway, Satheesh and I continued to paint Bravo's flag. The teachers actually chose fking Warisan fking Pahlawan as our company name. It sounded so ridiculous oh gosh why. When we almost finished the touching up of the flag, someone said our flag looked like the Sarawak logo. I was like, "Noooooo.... its gonna be done in just a few hours and now..." urgh. Idk what to do and best part? K wasn't helping, he pretended like its nothing. D:

Its Lawatan Keluarga today, Mom came to visit for like 30 mins and brought a bit stuffs for me since I needed them :) She bought a bottle of Cola for me, haha yay. First thing she saw me, she said, "You got thinner. And so dark!!! My god! How long were you under the sun these days? Good lah, get tanner. You're a bit too white."

.___________.

It's okay, it had only been a week, although it felt like a month. I was so tired of socializing already. I missed everyone. Ivan called me and told me he was planning to meet me :D together with Zhi On :D I hope they can make it, I totally missed them ><

Anyway, we Buddhist had our first class today. Got a piece of kitab (._.) and a bracelet! :P lol

I couldn't open my eyes this morning and the alarm clock was showing 5.30am already. Sheva, the newly appointed dorm leader, didn't do her job too. She just combed her hair for 15 minutes plus, and went to sleep -.- So I ended up becoming the 'dorm leader' too, ordering ppl around to clean the dorm =.= jeez.

We had class in the morning. Finally get to know more people in my group called Malaysia Cute. Oh gosh, I can't believe why Achik thought of that. Nazirah fell for him already =.= which was pretty quick. I still couldn't remember the faces of my group members, let alone get to know them.. Kinda shy and awkward to be extrovert in a group of mostly Malays when my BM suck like shit. Jeez. And then, there is this dude I forgot his name but he looked Chinese that kept asking me questions. I don't even know whether I should answer him in BM, English or Mandarin. Shittiest decision to reply in BM cos it was horrible. I think he was laughing =.= FINE.

Anyway, we wore half loreng for the first time today. We had kawad practice for the first time, and Encik Abbas announced that they are choosing for 4 balak and 3 balaks. Azyan, Zurah and I was the last 3 and he chose Azyan and Zurah. Because he said there is already a chinese girl. I didn't know it was Isabel but I did later haha cos' Isabel was asking me to teach her how to kawad desperately. haha... I felt happy for her, I mean, finally, a Chinese chosen as a 3 Balak in a sea of malays :p

 Then at night, the waiting for Muslims to solat was extremely boring. I can't believe we were gonna do the waiting for 3 months. Shit. But on the bright side, its a bonding time with the Non-Muslims ;)
I knew more about Jia Pei, Hui Wan and Hui Xin. And they all have a boyfriend. And they all shared their stories. And then when they asked about me, I said I don't have a boyfriend and I don't have any experience being in a relationship. Its like the end of the world, they kept interrogating me non stop :( So in the end, I talked about Ivan... and cried. Wtf.

Then, later at night, we watched some videos which was related to the classes we had this morning... it was alien to me. And it isn't funny. It was boring ._. Hmm... getting our phones back tmr tho yay

*Got home ytd from camp. it was like a crying ceremony, seriously, anyway, I'm gonna try my best to type out my journal during my days in Kem Ulu Pari :)