Tiffany

I'm so bad at titles. Anyway, this is gonna be a pretty random or, probably a cheesy post about the sunshine that brightens my day every single time without fail. 

I don't even know how to start typing out everything.

It was probably the second week or third that we started talking. Like, a proper conversation? Well, compared to the conversations we used to have in MUFY... Anyway, I don't know how but you just started to make my days in uni so much more happier.

When she confessed, I was actually quite hesitant of what's gonna happen next. Growing up in an environment where people think LGBT community is uncommon and "something wrong with their minds" as quoted by my mom, I don't dare to reveal myself as a bisexual.

It sounds so weird typing this.

I actually realized I am one when I was 16. I used to like girls and occasionally have crushes on guys since young, but my parents told me "it's just a phase".

I doubt it.

My first half of the semester in university has been so hectic and tiring. I don't even have time or the passion to think about what I actually want besides achieving CGPA 3.5. But then, things just happened.

I was scared of relationships, simply because my first one was really terrible. He doesn't put as much thoughts and I find myself too busy to handle these kind of commitments anyway, so why bother?

But I don't know, since this one is different. Once I start liking someone for real, it's just gonna be deep, like, there's no turning back. It's like, I have the urge to give the best for my partner and appreciate every moment together.  I'm gonna hold on and never let go kind of attachment.

Plus, studying at a place where you have connection with quite a number of people, holding hands with her in public is quite uncomfortable for me, at first.

I kept thinking, what if someone saw us?
Are they gonna judge? Or talk about it behind my back? Everyone thought I was straight simply because I never mentioned I'm not.

But then, why give a sh*t about what they are saying about me anyway. It's not like I'd just commited a sin or cause troubles to others.

I was just enjoying the moments I have with my partner who have accepted my flaws, craziness, clumsiness, mostly stupid questions about things in general. She knows how to make me smile when I didn't want to, knows how to make me feel happy and comfortable all the time, supported me and super skillful in making me shy. Her presence is enough to make me calm. I wonder if I blushed?

And I sincerely hoped that the people around me is okay with this. I don't ask for congratulations or wishes, and I don't mind about teases. Just acceptance will do :)

Thanks for coming into my life, Adeline. Love you loads and I hoped we can stay this way for a long time :) <3