Tiffany

Cheesy post coming: You've been warned

I'm so bad at titles. Anyway, this is gonna be a pretty random or, probably a cheesy post about the sunshine that brightens my day every single time without fail.

I don't even know how to start typing out everything.

It was probably the second week or third that we started talking. Like, a proper conversation? Well, compared to the conversations we used to have in MUFY... Anyway, I don't know how but you just started to make my days in uni so much more happier.

When she confessed, I was actually quite hesitant of what's gonna happen next. Growing up in an environment where people think LGBT community is uncommon and "something wrong with their minds" as quoted by my mom, I don't dare to reveal myself as a bisexual.

It sounds so weird typing this.

I actually realized I am one when I was 16. I used to like girls and occasionally have crushes on guys since young, but my parents told me "it's just a phase".

I doubt it.

My first half of the semester in university has been so hectic and tiring. I don't even have time or the passion to think about what I actually want besides achieving CGPA 3.5. But then, things just happened.

I was scared of relationships, simply because my first one was really terrible. He doesn't put as much thoughts and I find myself too busy to handle these kind of commitments anyway, so why bother?

But I don't know, since this one is different. Once I start liking someone for real, it's just gonna be deep, like, there's no turning back. It's like, I have the urge to give the best for my partner and appreciate every moment together. I'm gonna hold on and never let go kind of attachment.

Plus, studying at a place where you have connection with quite a number of people, holding hands with her in public is quite uncomfortable for me, at first.

I kept thinking, what if someone saw us?
Are they gonna judge? Or talk about it behind my back? Everyone thought I was straight simply because I never mentioned I'm not.

But then, why give a sh*t about what they are saying about me anyway. It's not like I'd just commited a sin or cause troubles to others.

I was just enjoying the moments I have with my partner who have accepted my flaws, craziness, clumsiness, mostly stupid questions about things in general. She knows how to make me smile when I didn't want to, knows how to make me feel happy and comfortable all the time, supported me and super skillful in making me shy. Her presence is enough to make me calm. I wonder if I blushed?

And I sincerely hoped that the people around me is okay with this. I don't ask for congratulations or wishes, and I don't mind about teases. Just acceptance will do :)

Thanks for coming into my life, Adeline. Love you loads and I hoped we can stay this way for a long time :) <3

11:28 PM
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Stereotype...?

9:41 PM
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Mistakes

9:12 PM
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Hola to another crazy week

9:56 PM
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Summing up the first week in first year (orientation)

So my 1 month and a half holidays just ended like that. Like. That. Like. That's it, in a blink of an eye, and I'm not satisfied with what I had (or hadn't) achieved in this long duration of lazying. Anyway, orientation wasn't so bad like I thought it would because of not meeting anyone for a month and half.

It wasn't as awkward as Jie Xi would anticipate, but awkward enough.

Anyway, the first day of orientation, I met up with many MUFY people and specifically, Seo Hyun ^^ It's been a long time since we met and talked, and we talked a lot of stuffs. Then, during the briefings, we sort of got into a gang, meaning the MUFY kids in one group. Not all of the MUFY students tho, just a few of us. All in the School of Business.

Well, the first three days of orientation is pretty tiring not because of there were vigorous ice breaking activities but boring briefing sessions. Overloading the students with information that are both confusing and not very benefiting is hard. But on Thursday, orientation was short and I hung out with Tung Ling at Pyramid for a short while to get her heels for Graduation Night on that day. Yes, it was that last minute, but at least she was happy with her new heels.

Friday (which is today), I went to uni for MUSA day. MUSA is like the committee group of Monash Uni and the group activities are really ice breakers. Probably because we are adults already, so it wasn't that hard to mix around and get into a friendly conversation with anyone. It was amazing, I didn't know how I did it but I did befriended several cool people. There were 10 tiring station games, and we had to run from one building to another building, from one corner to another corner, literally, just to get the next clue to the next station. And I must say, the organizing team has made great effort to take advantage of technology. Several clues required the use of smartphones and Internet to decipher the codes on the clues. And Shai (an Indian dude in our team) was like, the MVP for us. He could read the codes efficiently, suggest great ideas, and was really friendly. Basically, he is amazing. Without him, we wouldn't end up in the 5th position haha... yeah, 5th. It's good tho, the top 4 places was taken by School of Engineering and School of Science. And then there's us!

That's about it. I didn't get enough sleep (or maybe I just want more sleep) during this week, especially today.

8:27 PM
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An Interview with Dad (long post)

So, there was this post I saw people shared on Facebook about interviewing your parents by Brendon Burchard before it was too late. And, since I'm already 19, come to think of it, let's do it! Even though at first it was a bad idea, but then, I knew I'd made the right choice. My advice to people out there, just do it. You will get emotional but have it recorded and it will be with you forever. You get to learn a lot, and listen to the things that they had probably never mentioned or rarely talked about. Things that were sensitive to them, or what makes them happy. The small stuffs or the big stuffs. Whatever :) I'd skipped some of the questions prepared, and just went with the flow.

Anyway, here is the interview:

Bold = Me

Normal = Daddy

Colour = Mommy

First question, what comes to mind when you think about growing up in Megong, Kedah?

Make you a simple person, simple minded person and also you will be more genuine. That’s all.

Second question, what did you love to do as a kid, before high school? Whatever you can remember, as long as you are before Form 1, 13 years old.

Go and play in the paddy field, catching fishes. What survey are you doing?

Third question, what did you love to do in high school?

Okay, I like to kacau girls. (Is this recorded? Haha) Reading article or materials that I liked, military articles with the focus on jet planes. Playing badminton with friends, hang around with my four buddies doing crazy things which all the youngsters will do. Competition representing school in badminton, St. John, socializing basically.

Fourth question, what did you remember most about your teenage years? The most vivid one, the clearest one?

My first girlfriend HAHAHA. There are so much happenings, I kinda remember a lot. Hmm… Getting caught during my high school lo, go to school at 10 AM. Getting caught for not going school lo. Hahaha. One I remember the most is it was raining and I decided to skip school because it is raining OR I cannot go to school because I was earning something as a living, catching fishes how to go to school. Are you playing with me?

Working in Hotel Royale, first time I knew about prostitute. I was asked and approached by a non – uniform police officer to identify the owners of some cars. And I met an accident while going back by motorbike after working in hotel, after sending back Jenny. Her father didn’t fetch her, and we were working part time together. I was using the motorbike given by JR, that stupid Honda, number is 3268. I was alone, riding back to Megong, no streetlamp, very dark. And I hit a big, construction wood and I flipped. I hurt my leg, my left thigh and my uniform was torn. Go home, the second day before work, I asked my sister to repair the uniform because the uniform wasn’t mine, it belonged to the hotel. Injured, see doctor, put medication, bai ka (limped leg) for many days, but still have to work. It was painful every time I shower.

Fifth question, this one will be emotional and sensitive but, what did you remember about mom?

She was washing clothes at the back and I saw her underwear. Yeap, I’m telling you the truth, she was my mother and she didn’t care. She was wearing sarong and her legs were opened, sitting down. That was the last I remembered about her.

So, what was most important to her? Anything.

My mother was family oriented, like my mommy lo.

So is that all? About your mom?

I’m trying to remember… Yeah, I remembered her voice a bit. I forgot what she was saying, but her voice sounded like Ye Yi Li like that, very nasal voiced. A bit, but not heavy. She coughed a lot. *Sigh* before she died, she was at Alor Setar GH, I was at home. My second brother went to get a bomoh, a Malay bomoh. Which until today I still think he is a conman, but I can’t prove it. He did telepathy, my God. He acted like he was my mom in front of all the brothers, 4 of us, sisters weren’t allowed. Only males. Erm… He acted like that particular moment, what my mom was doing in Alor Setar GH, and it matched. It matched cos third sister is in GH.

Can’t say anymore, I’m gonna cry.

I’m serious. He showed him holding his leg, like mom. After that, it was at Megong. He went to back and suddenly behaved like a monkey, like a Monkey God if you believed in that. Fall onto his hands and legs, rushed to the back of his house, behind the toilet. Very dirty and smelly, we followed to see what he was doing. Then he used his hand to dig the place, which in my life I will never do it. It’s literally shit and dirt and next to the toilet, a sewage storage. It was so smelly and dirty and he found one package of thing. For me, I suspected that he was the one that buried it. But it doesn’t look like the place has been people dug, so how you explain that? In the packet got a few things, I forgot. But one of them is hair. Yeah, got hair. I was Standard 6 or 5. He opened the thing and showed it to us, that was when the spirit got into his body. But when he was awake, he actually smell his hand haha, then he showed us the packet, got the hair and some other things. Then, he said those hair was my mother’s. So, he said my mom was haunted by evil spirit, by someone who wanted to make us difficult, by people who wanted to revenge on our elder brother. My elder brother lose a lot of money and ran to Penang so owned people a lot of money. So, other people can’t get the money and they hired a bomoh to frame our family, and the victim was my mother. So you believe don’t believe, up to you lo.

So, how much did you guys pay the bomoh?

I have no idea, it was my second brother that did the payment. And I don’t exactly believe this sort of thing despite my young age because I read a lot of military things. I was a scientific person since young.

Okay. Moving on, question seven is, what do you remember most about your dad?

Ahh… That one I remembered a lot. Hmm… The most vivid one is the jokes actually. It was removed. My father and I make a living. I make his breakfast. In the morning, he will go out early when I’m still asleep. But before he goes, he will take a stick and knocked the ceiling of the living room, where I’m sleeping in the second floor. Our house was built in wood. There will be a tremor on my back to wake me up, to indicate that he is going out. So, he go out to wet market to buy fish and veggies to sell in the sundry shop. My job was to take out the fishes, prawns and anything sales leftover from the previous day that was frozen in the refrigerator. To take it out and arrange it out in front of our shop and let it melt. It was 7AM something, so by 9AM plus the frozen should already melted, so people can buy. It was all old stock stuff. So one day, being a young kid, I didn’t do. I opened the shop, I sit there and begin to slumber. When my dad came back, only did I realized that I haven’t take out the frozen fishes in the fridge. I was thinking, ‘I’m dead this time’.

So, I played a trick on my dad. When he came back and stopped the motorbike, I shouted at him to look at the street opposite, which is the main road, there was an accident. He looked over and I quickly went to the fridge to take out the leftovers. I thought that I could fooled him. He saw it and he laughed at me, then he told the neighbours. ‘Look at my son, he is so mischievous. Try to lie at his daddy’.

Then. Fast forwarded to the event I remembered the most about him: before he died. Basically, it was just skin and bone. Nothing else. No muscles, he can’t move. His face looked exactly like skeleton, it was just skin and skull. Everyone came home, he didn’t die yet. We all could see the tears in his eyes, rolling down his face. Zero movement, the only thing you know was his chest moving up and down, meaning he was still breathing. Annie was rushing back with her husband. Everyone told him that Annie is coming home. *long pause of 2 minutes*

So he stayed until Annie came home. 15 minutes. 15 minutes. He cannot see her already, his eyes are closed and Annie put her hand on his chest. Everyone was around, young to old. And we all waited until Annie burst into tears. Which meant his heart stopped.

Yeah, I remembered that.

That means Annie’s husband saw your father before?

Of course, the first time he saw my dad was at Subang Airport when they came back from London. That was the first time in my life to sit on an airplane, can’t remember what year. We sat in the plane with Jiu Jiu, which was my mother’s brother, my eldest sister and my papa. 4 of us, 4 ‘Ah Ngau’. We came to KL from Alor Setar, I’m still surprised by how we checked into our flight and sat on an airplane. Annie was flying halfway from London, she was in the sky already only then we took our flight from Alor Setar. Let me see what happened.

It was a memorable day. Papa actually decided to take me, the youngest ma. In the plane when we landed in Subang, my fourth sister was holding her bags and luggage like everyone wanted to rob her. It was damn funny. Then, we took a taxi to the airport, which Annie’s flight will land in the middle of the night. And these 4 stupid ‘Ah Ngau’ actually waited in the airport, I also dunno what we were doing in the airport. Then when she landed, Annie’s husband’s family also came. 2 groups of people, with only four of us but her husband’s family members were a lot. Next thing we knew, Annie cried and told Papa that she won’t be joining us back to Alor Setar, she will be joining her husband in Melaka. Papa was disappointed. And we met Annie for only half an hour, probably less than that. Then, she gave me 2 big bags of peaches, which are overripe. Then, bye bye already.

We took a taxi from Subang airport to the train station in KL. Next thing I know, I’m already in the train, eating peaches. The train is the one that can sleep one, with bunk beds. I slept at the upper part and Papa slept at the lower bed. Eldest sister and Jiu Jiu was sleeping at the other compartment. Because I don’t always sleep at night, so I ate the peaches. I ate a crazy amount, maybe 20? I gave to Papa, but Papa don’t want. He said, “Yeee.” So I ate a lot, hand was dirty and I went to the toilet to wash my hands. Then, I went to sleep. The train stopped and move at many town. You know lah, train very slow one. THEN, somehow life is special. In the middle of the night when I woke up, one of the stops the train stopped. Actually I will wake up and looked out the window to see the first few towns, but then I got tired. However, this time I woke up. I pulled out the curtain and I saw ‘Tanjung Rambutan’. A small town. I was young and I had no idea what was Tanjung Rambutan. Only years later I know that Tanjung Rambutan is a place for crazy, psychotic people.

That’s life.

That’s my daddy lo. Oh and one thing I remembered about him was he would sit on his motorbike, number is 2612. Always fetched me to play badminton when I used to represent school. He will sit on the concrete bench, next to the badminton court and watched me play badminton with friends. Then, he will laugh when we played funny and one particular day of sending me for badminton, when we were on our way back, we stopped at the junction reaching Megong. We witnessed an accident. A lot of people in the middle of the junction, then there were brain matters and blood on the road. We didn’t take a good look and went home, 500m from Megong. When we reached home only we realized, the guy who died was Mr See Chai Lai. He was our relative and also our neighbour. Many people died at that same junction.

[Totally out of topic] And that same junction is the junction where I suspected there was a ghost sitting behind me on my motorbike. Suspect, I can’t prove it of course. That was years later after I worked in the hotel, I stopped at the same junction, red light. I was the only person on a motorbike at 11PM something, finished work ma. Suddenly, the back seat of my motorbike, number 3268, sunk down, as though someone climbed up on my motorbike. The entire junction was nothing, no cars, no humans. So what climbed behind me?

Let’s skip that.

Haha. So I rushed home, scared already and used my hand to feel my back but I didn’t feel anything. Before I reached home, I’m already shouting for my second brother’s name. Then, he came down and opened the door for me. I had to make a living, my salary was RM180 per month. And, with tips given by others, I’ll earn more and every cent will be put into my Maybank counter at the end of the month, into my saving account apart from my daily meals.

Okay. So moving on and skipping some questions already. If grandparents have a message to you and their grandchildren, what do you think it will be?

Be educated. Be a good person.

Moving on from Kedah. Let’s talk about how you meet mommy and knowing she is the one?

Ha. She meet me not I meet her. Erm… Let me see… How I meet her? Wow, it was dramatic. You have to start with how I got into Buddhist Association. I’m a man of no religion, I don’t believe in God, never. Never believe in religion. But what happened was I have a singing partner, we always go sing together cos we stayed in the same hostel. He studied Mathematics and his name is Lim Beng Hock. He was a Buddhist and the Buddhist Association official guitarist, which had nothing to do with me. We were friends so weekend, a whole gang of us would go to Kajang and eat noodles together. Then, we sing karaoke all night in the hawker centre the whole night. He knew that I could sing very well, then he also knew that I disliked to join religious thing. One day, the UKM Buddhist Association need to perform in KL, so the activities need a lead singer. Somehow they don’t have a lead singer, and I was stronger invited to be a lead singer. I refused but he told me that I could sing any way I liked. So, because of friends, I went to the first session and that’s how Ho Siew Hoon came into the picture. She was in the choir group, the backup singers.

My God, Mommy sings?!

Now you know, oh my god. That’s why her singing very failed. Erm… There was about 20 ladies there, but I couldn’t be bother because I went for my friend.

Fast forward…

No lah, you singing already which year already… the first time we met was at Tanjung Malim. You went singing in the front.

No lah. Anyway, I later joined the camp to Tanjung Malim. That’s how I got more contact with Mommy, but contact only. There are so many girls, she is not the only one. Then, third year. I became the stage director for Pesta Tanglung 10.

After that camp, I sent you a postcard because you fetch me to the bus station ma. Daddy so kind to send me. Then, I send a postcard to say thank you ma.

I got motorbike that’s why I send you ma. Then, I mong cha cha got a postcard from a girl.

I still got proof one ah, we still keep that post card.

Show me the postcard hahahaha. After that, she came back and I was the stage director. There was a lot of committees and one night, after meeting about the preparations and coordinations, Mommy belong to the protocol committee. I will visit all the committee meeting and the meeting will finish at 11PM in the campus. So, it’s not unusual for guys to send girls back to their hostel. So there will always be a lot of girls who want me to send her back, Mommy is one of them.

Eh, I didn’t asked for it!

So, she was secretly listening upstairs…HAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHA.

Eh, he purposely want to send me one. He chose me despite so many girls.

Because she is from Sarawak, to us, Sarawak people stay on the trees one. So, we are helping her! We guys got motorbike ma. Eh, I also send a lot of girls back.

Now only you tell. Haiya.

Eh, it’s normal for guys to send girls home. Or else what, other girls faced the danger ah? And we were the directors, we have to play our roles to make sure of everyone’s safety.

How you know she is the one leh?

He invited me to go out makan, but we used our own money ah. Makan dinner, cos everyone go back already holiday.

So what happened was come holidays, she didn’t go home. I also didn’t go home because I need to collect donation for the event Pesta Tanglung. We need to do fundraising and a lot of planning. So I know she didn’t go home, one day I met her and she asked me to dabao food for her. I said no, if you want me to dabao for you, you have to do it yourself. If you want, you have to eat together. Only next day, only we went out to eat dinner together. Like that lo. We never had actual contacts, I’m a busy guy.

So what actually made you proposed to her?

Hahaha. I didn’t propose. It was a circumstantial marriage.

Meaning?

I came out to work already, I was working for Mead Johnson, my first job while she was still at UKM.

Propose already? You didn’t talk about the part where we were together in the third year and fourth year. We went to UPM and do stuffs. And visit using your motorbike.

What happened was on the 1^st April 1991. So, towards the final quarter of the year, after I worked for 7 – 8 months, the Marketing Manager, Mr. Sim, announced to everyone saying that if company hit target then we will have a chance to go to Europe of 10 days trip. So, I also wanted to join. I told the Marketing Manager I wanted to join, but he told me that I’m not entitled because I didn’t work for one year yet. But I told him that I really wanted to go, then he gave me a condition that I have to hit 130% target sales then only I can go. So, I worked really hard. Finished the year I hit my target, come January, company started to book ticket. We have to submit our names, passports and everything for them to book tickets. I didn’t have passport so I have to quickly go make one. After submitted the detail, then I told my girlfriend in UKM that I’m going to Europe. Then, she said she wanted to go but have to pay. So I quickly told Mr Sim but he said cannot. Only family members such as sisters or wife were allowed, girlfriend cannot. So I told her cannot but she really wanted to go. So, I said the only way to do it is to marry me. That’s how we got married. She became my wife and then we went to Europe. No romantic will you marry me and such.

Like that lo.

Haiya, you think your daddy is the romantic type ah? He won’t do those kind of kneeling down and propose kind of thing. We all are practical people. Actually you should talk about the times we had during your third and fourth year. Like that time, you picked me up using motorbike from Sarawak.

I don’t recall any of those anymore. Ah yeah, when she came back from Sarawak and I had to go picked her up from the airport, that one teruk man. I took motorbike from Bangi to Subang airport, her flight supposed to land at middle of the night, around 1.30am. So, I have to be at airport by 12am, those days we don’t know the time. I don’t have GPS, nothing, just look at signboard and I can reach the airport with only two helmets. So, 1.30am flight delayed to 4.30am.

My god.

Imagine how many hours I was in the airport? Imagine how bored I was got nothing to do? Those days airport where got shopping one. I walked around, doing nothing, go toilet and washed my face. Lied down until finally the plane landed. Later I saw some trees and flowers, so I went to pick up all the flowers since got nothing to do. Went and asked for a rubber band from a random stranger. Plucked all the flowers and tied it up to give to my girlfriend. That’s what I did.

Vandalism…

Then, when she came down, get the bag, hop on the motorbike, I gave her the flowers. She didn’t appreciate at all, seperti kera diberi bunga.

I GOT NO HANDS TO TAKE ALREADY MA!

She threw the flower away. You see, my god right?

EH, HE SAID HIMSELF THAT NO HAND TO HOLD JUST THROW AWAY, SO I THREW IT AWAY LO.

Put somewhere in your bag or something lah!

Now you know your mommy ah? She has no idea how long I’d waited for her, spend so much efforts to arrange the flowers and tie it together. The moment she sat on the motorbike, she already attempted to throw it away. So, the flower only lasted for one minute while it took hours to prepare.

Did you feel heartbroken?

No lah, I don’t feel anything. We are not material people, we don’t look at materials. Materials come and go. That’s why her birthday I never gave flowers unlike other husbands.

How did you choose this career and what’s your favorite part of this career?

Originally I wanted to become a doctor but I didn’t get it. Being an extrovert, I like sales. Sales can make money and I don’t have money and I wanted money. So, I enjoyed talking, convincing people. That’s how I ended up in sales. I think I got 4 job offers. Before graduate, I applied for thousands of jobs, went for hundreds of interviews including Singapore, flew to Singapore just for the interview with British American Tobacco. I chose Mead Johnson was because it was based in Alor Setar. That’s how it all started.

So, what did you believe about yourself that helped you become successful and deal with hard times?

Four words: 积极人生. I have a lot of ups and downs in my life, my career. I had failed, but more success than failed. I fell down and woke up. Just like that. Everyone failed before. I did failed. But I picked up myself and correct myself and I make sure I don’t fail again.

So, next. What event in your life that truly tested your capability?

When you got no money. You know if you worked hard, you will get the money you need. That’s all. No money can change a person.

What did you learnt about yourself after dealing with that event?

That I had to work harder than others. That I had to work smarter than others. I have to look for opportunities and I have to do differently than others, because everyone also did what I did. And I have to do more, of course there are people who did more than me.

Okay, this one maybe need to think a bit. What event most shaped your life?

Hmm…Because there is no mountain behind me, there is no food ready in front of me, I’m all by myself. Being poor. Being deprived from anything. But being an attitude and mentality of积极人生, when I do things I like, I’m very productive. Without fail for months, shifting 20 feet of newspapers and I flipped every page for military related info and cut it down. I read every page, every article written by this lady named Li Ji Hui. I still remembered her name.

Okay, this is more about children’s story lah. What do you remember each of us when we were born?

I remembered the most when HengJee started learning to crawl. One of the best thing to do was to chase him on the floor and biting his buttocks. That was the best, memorable moments. Then come to PeiEr, is the best she cannot walk. Coming home, the best thing to do was holding you. When you can walk, the fun is slightly less because you have a lot of strong characters. That’s why that makes me predict that when you are 17, you are going to give me a lot of troubles. And that was video-ed.

Hmm, okay. So next, were you scared to be a parent?

Nah, there is no scared in my dictionary except for cockroach.

How would you describe your approach to parenting?

Very practical. No luxuries and give the worst to the children. Materialistically speaking, I mean. Of course that means health and security have to give the best. You guys got the best food, best milk, and best nutrition. And most expensive too. But when it comes to materials, give the worst. So that kids will realized that when you don’t get the things you want, you have to go get it with your own efforts. Things don’t fall from the sky. That’s my parenting philosophy. I don’t care how rich you are, but always give the worst in terms of material, of course within the framework of health, comfort and security. Not to the point you get sick and go to the hospital that’s for sure. No luxuries as in no PlayStation 1, like that time Heng Jee used to ask for it when he was in primary school, until today he still didn’t get it.

Okay, when you think about Heng Jee, how would you describe him?

Very nice boy. Two words if you believe in God: God’s sent.

Haha, then what did you think about me~?!

You are outgoing, you have strong opinions and characters, which is a good point. You are creative. But you are impatient and you can’t tolerate that you didn’t get the things you want. If you want something, you will ensure that you will get it, even though it is an illegal method. By outlook, you are a very cute girl, a Daddy’s girl when you are small.

Then now leh.

Still the same lah, less the cute factors of course. You may not aware this but there did not goes a day by where I did not kissed you.

Awww, so sweet.

You can ask Mommy. Every day I will ensure I got kiss you one. Heng Jee will get beaten and get bitten once a while. My philosophy of raising kid is guy will get tough, I treat guy tough. You wouldn’t like me if you’re a guy, I won’t treat you softly. But for girls, I do have soft spots and it’s always my life wanting to have a younger sister. I always wanted to have one, but I never had it, which is why I had a lot of girlfriends. But I treated them as my younger sister, which they treated me as their boyfriend instead. I don’t want that because I was too matured for my age because of my background.

So, what message did you want to give to Heng Jee that you always wanted him to keep in mind?

Just积极人生. Do more than others, do better than others, more so now in this era. My time less competitive, so if you are not vigilant, you will be in trouble. When you are in comfort zone for some time, the moment you lose the comfort, you will panic. When you have it, you better take good care of it. This is a message for both of you, not just Heng Jee. We can be comfortable now, how you know 10 years later Malaysia economy crash and the people in riot? We can be in the situation like Greece, and what are you gonna do? That’s why while you are in a comfort zone, take the time to improve and learn. Buck up for unexpected and failure. I won’t be surprise if Heng Jee fail a semester, I might even say that was expected. Of course, we try to keep it from happening but if it happen, it happened. I had reached the stage where I’m very open minded, if I don’t work, I don’t work. Like the status I put in my Whatsapp currently: ‘I’d rather be hated for who I am, than be loved for who I am not’. If I don’t get a Ferrari, that’s okay. In fact, if I have a Ferrari, I would be even more worried. The best is none of us get heart attack or cancer tomorrow. Look at your mom, she is now experiencing high blood pressure, it’s time to do something. Better don’t intimidate her and tolerate more. You and I have to learn more tolerance already. The signs of health issues are arising in me and mommy. Yeah, so what’s your next questions?

If you think about mommy, how would you describe her?

Very family. She has more good points than bad points, very family – oriented which both of you must learn from her. A very traditional girl, but being naïve and always want to be caccooned in her comfort zone. This is against to my principle of 积极人生, I can’t really accept it. But she is a good wife, not perfect, but I must say, she is the best wife anyone can ask for. No one is perfect, I’m not a perfect husband either, but she still accepts who I am and I’m grateful of that. Before I graduated from UKM, my good friend Lim Beng Hock said this sentence to me, “You are not graduating with a degree; you are graduating with this girl”. What a compliment to her, man. “The most precious thing after you graduate from UKM is this girl, not that piece of certificate.” He knew Mommy more than me at that time, because they were in Buddhist Association together a lot.

Lim Beng Hock is a very good friend. We hardly seen each other, we do exchange on Facebook a few times. The other friend even worse, we never met each other, he is from GSK, Yao Kim Fah. We had forged a great friendship, we don’t need to see or talk to each other every day. If one of them were to call me for help, I will not hesitate. If I need to fly to Sabah or Melaka to help, I will book the next flight ticket. I believe likewise if I ever needed help.

So, okay. What message do you want to give to mommy and want her to keep in mind?

Just be healthy.

I see, now this onwards will be more based on your opinions. What do you think the world need most right now? Peace, harmony, more wars, stock crash, anything. (2015)

The world need a leader like Nelson Mandela, of course not from a small country. This person has to come from the Top 10 countries, meaning with big powers, such as America, Britain, French, China, Japan, etc. Somebody who has the stature of Nelson Mandela. But we didn’t see it, because the world has become in such a way that it becomes too profit – oriented. Haha, I feel like I’m spreading idealism. But too bad lor, this is fact. Every one now just want to gain something, practically zero want to give something. The best golden era of Malaysia was in the 80s and 90s. Now the world has become so capitalism – oriented, even China is transitioning into something like that. China is the last one that preserved non – capitalism, but they stil collapsed. With that, China as a whole has become very profit – orientated. Japan and America is struggling. America is bogged down with terrorism issue, they are going to be having to deal with it for maybe the next 10 presidents. But these are too big of an issue for us to handle, we ourselves have so much big problems, making the world issue becoming a non – issue, in a way.

Okay, so what do you think people want most in life?

Different phases of your life you will want different things. 生老病死, during these 4 phases and just dissect each phases and you will know what you want. Simple word: happiness. But the problem is how many people actually work towards it. The problem is everyone think the only way is money bring happiness, of course if you have no money then money will bring happiness, but it’s not the one that determines the whole thing. I want a BMW, but if I have one, I will want a Lamborghini. There will be no end. Money isn’t ultimate, I used to think of money only, but then at night, before I sleep, I started thinking, I have a family. I have two kids and a wife that loved me. I’m happy. Money doesn’t buy this sort of happiness. Of course you have to work for money lah, but not all the time, that’s extreme.

Hmm... okay, so what message do you want to share to your family?

Be safe. That’s all. Our environment doesn’t allow us to make terrible mistakes anymore. So, whatever you do, think of the consequences. I don’t want to see you all suffer ma.

So, lastly, what are you most thankful of?

I don’t really anyone to thank to, to be honest. I’m not religious, I can’t thank God. Individualistically speaking, I thanked myself. Thanks to myself for all the decision making I’d made, wrong and right. I did made near fatal decisions as well. I don’t want to talk about that. Which it did put us in financial difficulties, but I turned back. That’s why we were living okay. It was something to do with business venture, not gambling or anything. This experience… I have to thank it too, because now I have plenty of experience on turning around a situation. From my first job, I had observed people’s behaviour and decision making. All bad experiences are precious, the process of fail to success is useful. People don’t change in a click like that. Something have to happen. With how life is now, I guess I have to start slowing down. Slow down my temper, my patience and all. I have to move away from unhappiness elements. What others think of me now, I don’t bother anymore. Old already ma. I’m not asking you to be number one in the class, but what I asked you is to learn the experience. Every mistakes, every small success. I want you to learn it and appreciate it. Google is everywhere, make use of it. Be thankful to Google.

Sorry for the damn long post :)

11:44 AM
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The thing about Miss Zahra & the recent incident at Plaza LowYat

1:26 PM
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Afraid

1:10 PM
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MUFY results are out!

And I got all HD (High Distinction, not High Density, mind you.)!!! Yay!

The results were kinda unexpected, in both the good way and bad way.

The good way is Maths. I had a huge problem in solving problems related to Combination and Permutation. During the finals, there were 2 such questions, and I actually surrendered to them. I didn't leave the question blank of course, but I do not have confidence that the answers I'd scribbled on the paper makes sense to the person marking my paper. It definitely made sense to me, or else I wouldn't be writing the formulas and workings. The moment the students were asked to leave the exam hall, everyone was discussing the same 2 questions that I had struggled to answer. My workings made no sense to anyone, and no ones workings made sense to me so that's it.

There goes 10 marks.

But surprisingly, I got 90 for Maths, including internal marks I supposed. Thanks to Ms Jessey for this!

The bad way is English. I'd never been satisfied with the level of English I have now, especially in terms of writing. I'm not good in using bombastic words to fill my paper, but one thing I'm good at is making my essay easy to read and understand. My grammar is pretty weak too, you can probably read it in my blog. My second problem is pronunciation. I'm famous for pronouncing words wrongly in my family, sometimes it even became a family joke, where everyone is laughing except for me.
Anyway, I got 86 for English. Yes yes I know it's considered high (relatively speaking), already HD still want to rant ah?

Yes, I want to rant cannot ah. Like I previously posted, Sem 2 English is not easy to score. My goal was 90 and above, but what to do. It's probably because of my internal score. I didn't do very well in my information report because according to my lecturer, I did not use "bombastic words" and "wrong referencing format". I agreed on the wrong referencing format, I checked on the content of my work but I forgot about the reference part. But bombastic words? :(

Okay. Reality hit me like a wrecking ball dy, I cannot say I don't want to accept.

In the end, Economics and Accounting was pretty high (in my view). I got 92 for Econs, this one I very happy already. Then, Accounting I got 89, which in my opinion also quite good. I'm not the mathematics, numerical kind of person. So, I struggle a lot in handling numbers to the point my roommate never wanted me to help her calculate how much discount she will get after purchasing a basket of stationary in Popular Bookstore. That one long story lah okay.

So, that's about it! I'm going on for my first year in Monash Uni soon in July ^^

11:06 PM
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Wordpress

10:45 PM
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Redang Trip after Finals

I had never went on a trip with friends, alone with no adults, out of the city. I know I'm 19, but parents nowadays often worried on their kids despite their age because of the change in lifestyle and era that seems to be inclining towards negativity.

Anyway, we planned a trip together to Pulau Redang, Terengganu. I admit the trip wouldn't be as fruitful if you don't have any friends or relatives that's willing to fetch you around Kuala Terengganu while waiting for the jetty to the island. Vanessa's parents were from Kuala Terengganu and her father was really friendly and willing to fetch us around the town. I thought he was working because we went on a Thursday morning, but he fetched us for some good breakfast and then, he left us at the town for us to explore ourselves, with Vanessa's leads.

Kuala Terengganu town was near Syahbandar Jetty (not exactly super near but it's walking distance), and there are a number of lorongs (small alleys) with wall arts and designs. It's pretty interesting and we had some group shots there.

Then we went to the jetty at 10.30pm to Pulau Redang woohoo! The jetty trip is around 45 minutes to an hour, there is also a tractor (i think that's what you call it) that fetches passengers to respective hotels/resorts.

Pulau Redang have a wonderful seashore and the sea water is crystal clear. No kidding. JieXi was jakun of the soft sand and the water. The wave are rough at times but its enjoyable.

We stayed at Redang Bay Resort. The service is good. The food prepared was really good. It's mostly homecooked food and it tasted fresh and tasty. Following the package, the resorts offers breakfast, lunch, tea time and dinner.

The room are good too, just the lights are a wee bit too dim. Its a simple room with just bed, a table and toilet. There are clothes line outside for you to dry clothes and stuffs too.

So, we went snorkeling in the open sea on the first day and then wasted most of our time on the beach, talking and bonding. We had ice - cream and strolled the beach.

On the second day, we went snorkeling in the Marine Park, the corals were beautiful and the guide showed us a shipwreck which was absolutely stunning because of the corals and fishes hiding there. They should throw more shipwreck into the sea as home for the marines. hahaha. And then, one of the guide was a really kind fellow, although the way he talks is pretty sarcastic but he is fun as heck. He took jump shots of us at the park. I was the first one to go and heck, the salty sea water stung my nostrils!

I know my face looked retarded as heck. Hahaha, you have no idea how hard I laughed at this photo. The guides will take underwater shots for you too, if you ask kindly haha. But basically, most of them are friendly and kind :D There are more water activities to fill in your day, but of course there will be a different charge. They have scuba diving, night snorkeling and more, but we didn't have enough cash for that. Oh and the snorkeling tools are for rent. Normal goggles are RM 25, and the Power Goggles (goggles with power for those short sighted potatoes like me) are RM 45 and RM100 deposit. Yes, there are only deposits for power goggles not the normal ones.

Then, we spent lots of time on the beach with ice - creams again. There is a camera shop that rents waterproof camera. It's just a Sony compact camera assembled with the waterproof case, not some DSLR of course. Try to find the shop on your first day because the package is 2 days for RM70 and 1 day for RM50. Obviously 2 day package rent is cheaper and more worth.

We spent the second night at the bistro, there is a live band with no drummer haha... Their singing are okay and they talk a lot in Cantonese (depending on the audience). One of them was really cool, she could sing a Thai song in full.

That's about it for my trip in Redang. We spent the third day, literally the entire day going home. So it was damn tiring, by the time I reached my room here in SunU Residence, it was already 11pm. Damn.

Redang Bay Resort overall is a good hotel with nice service and great food. The stuff sold in the convenience store is a bit pricy. Oh and the sand quality LOL. The sand in front of Redang Bay Resort is softer than the sand in front of Laguna Resort. But there are 2 types of sand in front of Laguna Resort, the super rough one with dead corals and the super soft powdery one that makes you want to just sleep in it. The wave in front of Laguna Resort is also rougher than Redang Bay.

I think if you really wanted this trip to Redang to be a fruitful 3 days 2 nights, do bring more cash so that maybe you can go scuba diving. Or else it would be a waste of time if you go with the wrong people :) I'm not saying I did, because I enjoyed myself with my MUFY friends like heck over there and I really wished I could do it again. We spent a lot of time bonding and talking and floating along the waves, laughing and joking, teasing each other.

Thanks you for the moments :)

As you can see, I'm the shortest one there with the thickest thighs and roundest face. Ugh. Genetics. But I'm gonna try exercising more for this break to see how thin my body can go with this genetics in my way.

4:00 PM
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