Sounds like a pathetic title, but anyway I just want to get this off my chest.

I'm afraid of many things.

I'm afraid of cockroach, I'm afraid of being alone, I'm afraid of society...

But what I'm afraid the most is losing friends.

Yes, I know that people come and people go. Let go of friends that makes you feel small, or move on from the negative people around you and meet new people. Blah blah blah. It sounded so simple, yet so hard to do.

Transiting into college, a fresh new environment taught me a lot of lessons about society. How hard it is to make true friends, why is it so important to appreciate your family more... Sometimes, I can't blend in with the new people I met. Most of the time, I can't even be myself.

Just be yourself, if they don't like you, ignore them! Get new people!

I wished it was just that easy. When I'm myself, people around me cast me weird glances, sometimes even asked me what's wrong with me. I don't know anymore, seriously. It kills me.

I don't want to lose the friends back in high school. In fact, they are the only people that I can speak to whenever I have doubts in big decision makings, unhappy situations or whatever. We don't talk every single day, they have their life, I have mine.

But there are times where I wished we could talk more. That when you are busy living your life, enjoying times with your new friends, just don't forget about me. I'm so easily forgotten because I just don't make an impact in other people's lives. I'm so afraid that when you have met new people, moving on in life that I lost you.

So, I always make a habit to stay in contact with my old friends.

Sometimes, I get a reply immediately.

Sometimes, I don't even get a reply for days.

Sometimes, I faced the 'last seen' torture.

Sometimes, I was 'blue tick'.

Most of the time, I felt like I'm annoying. Weird. Crazy. Lack of attention.

When you have new friends and facing new challenges, please don't forget about me. I'm just a message away.





I honestly felt that this post is merely just a pathetic rant.