I quitted my job today and got my pay as well. And boss treated me chicken rice for lunch, but Mom sms-ed me in work that she wanna try out eating in Starbucks. So I met dad, mom and bro there at 1pm and hell, it was a really expensive lunch by just ordering 3 sets of meal. I didn't eat, just there to accompany the family. After all, its Mother's Day today :)

Dad spent around half an hour discussing with me about UTAR. And I didn't really listened to him because he is gonna bring me to the PJ campus anyway. We can ask all the questions we want there.

I was thinking a lot during work and I pretty much poured out all my thoughts during lunch today, and I admit, I'd made lunch time for everyone stressful. 

I told them all I'm hoping for is obtaining a government scholarship/offers to save costs for my PreU. In matriculation, a student can get monthly allowance, free accomodation, low cost for food and daily expenses. In UPU, a student can have free foundation/diploma and continue their degree in the same university. 

Its a good offer, honestly. The most your parents have to pay is the petrol fees of fetching you to the college/uni from home and their time and energy.

But I guess this is life. I didn't get either, I wad disappointed, angry and also regretted not studying hard enough to get a bursary scholarship.

I mean, I believe many teenagers are affected for the same cause right now, not just me. For now, I hadn't felt happy ad someone who want to minimize spending their parents' money on education by obtaining a local uni course. 

Its not like I can just walk into any private college and use PTPTN loans or my parents' money to study any course I want. 

I mean, I have a dream, get it? I know the usual sayings, "Be determined" and so on. But to accept the reality in such a fast pace, when everything just starts throwing rocks at you, and you just gotta think positive and stay strong and not disappoint your parents, it ain't an easy task for me.

I believe I might need quite some time to accept this and move on.

But what broke my heart the most on Mother's Day is when I overheard my mom crying in her room, pouring out her thoughts and disappoinment to uncle Eong. I'm so sorry.

If admission goes well tomorrow, orientation in UTAR will be this coming Saturday. Classes will commerce on 26th May. 

Its a rush, really. 

Yeah, like what Ivan said. What are you gonna do? 

I honesty have no idea about this UTAR thing. 

And a no comments later in our convo -.- 

Lol, nvm.

Probably because he don't understand that pang of regrets and stressful situation I'm having now. 

But that's okay :) 

Good night all.