And, I'm not sure whether its just me overthinking or something, he gave back a really simple note. I'm not being greedy or what, but I was actually hoping that he would say more than thanks about the note I gave him.  Maybe something like thanks for motivating? I dunno, I really don't. But then, its a really small thing which I decide to ignore :) I mean, we're just friends right? 

But sometimes, I just feel that no matter how much I helped him in studies or motivates him, he just won't budge. 

Maybe studying isn't what he likes to do, well, I don't like it either. But its definitely something I will force myself to do so, so that I won't disappoint the people around me. So that, I don't get looked down. I know, by the time I'm at college, no one is gonna care how many As I have. 

But that is the future. And As is definitely the most important thing NOW. Sigh well... Life just don't go your way. 

So how have I been this few weeks?

Honestly, I don't like my progress. 

I procrastinated a lot. And I couldn't concentrate well because I kept hoping that I can talk to Ivan again. 

Sometimes, I think, I should really start controlling myself. Like now. 

No more excuses. No more 'just another minute of thinking of him'. Nope. 

I get demotivated easily. I collapsed the moment someone says,"You could've done better." or "She is better that you". 

Again, people always say, Don't compare yourself with others, its like insulting yourself. True, but easy said then done. 

And, instead of being a typical low self-esteem teenager, I should have taken those words as a motivation to improve myself and drive myself further. 

But I didn't.

Sigh. Sometimes I just have to learn things the hard way because I'm just too stubborn to accept the reality. 

A typical teenager. With this kind of attitude, I'm definitely going no where. 

Another disappointing part? 

So is him. 

It's gonna come to one point where we separated because one of us just can't take each other's attitude anymore. 

Wait, we're just friends lol

Anyway, I sometimes hope he would read my blog but like what he said. He is just not good in reading. 

Well. That's an excuse. 

I don't know about him. 

I just don't know. 

I'm just another typical immature teenager. 

Its time to stand in front of the mirror and start developing myself. Its already 2013.