The week before Chinese New Year seemed to be one of the most hectic week in college. From classes to classes, twisted emotions and communication. I get tired of talking a lot in college, maybe because I ask a lot of stupid questions in class, asking my classmates about useless stuffs and probably responding too much to the people around me. At least on Friday I get to meet up with NeeKee again, which cheered up my day.

Anyway, that isn't the point. What I wanted to talk about is Valentine's Day this year. Most students had went back to their hometown for the Chinese New Year break, but not me and a few others. With a few taps on my phone and a call, two friends and I decided to meet up for a breakfast date. We went to have noodles and then a spontaneous decision to Pyramid to catch a movie. But of course, when we went there, tonnes of couples were lining up for movie. The showtime of the movies were mainly marked in red, indicating a fully booked session. Hence, we changed our plan and went for an ice - cream before going back to our rooms. As we licked the last traces of ice - creams on the plastic spoon, we watched couples passing by us, hands in hands or arms over shoulders and waist. Yeah, it was a pathetic trip to the Pyramid.

Tonight, I'm going to meet up with a friend of 10 years :) along with some other friends, of course.

Back in my room, I begin to prepare for the gathering tonight, like things i need to bring but most importantly, its a letter for MayXuan :) I started out with a piece of paper.

Stuck. I'm stuck. How do I start? To May Xuan? Then what? I have lots and lots of thoughts driving around my mind, I have lots to say to her, but... I have no idea how to start. May Xuan had been a really great friend of mine since primary school. The first day I came to Chee Wen, she was the first one who was willing to approach this messed up, mushroom head girl -- me. She helped me a lot, and shared a lot of moments with me until we were in secondary school. Whenever people asked me about my impression of her, I'd never failed mentioning the best of her. Her dorkiness that made her who she is. Saying so, the next question will always be, "You are talking like you're really close to her. But I'd never seen you and her hanging out in school."

That's because this is our way of friendship. 

We meet new people by ourselves, we explore new things by ourselves, and then we shared them together. We don't need to hang out every day or chat every day. We can meet once a year and still be the best of friends. She doesn't betray and will always be there whenever I called for help. And vice versa. Although I do have a few regrets stuck in my heart during high school and college...

All these thoughts led one to another, and by the time I realized, I had written three full - pages of words in black. I still have loads of things I wanted to say, but I guess I should let these miscellaneous, random notions in my head flow down the stream.

I'm just going to let it be. 

Ending the letter with my name :) Ahhh... so much feels. I cried a little when I read back what I wrote. Why am I doing this when all May Xuan is going to do was going overseas to further her studies. 

I guess I'm just one complicated person.

Even though we were in the same country, we don't talk often. Maybe once in every 5 - 6 months? But now that she was leaving for Australia, I felt different. And I thought, maybe, a hand - written letter to her would be nice? Its not a gift, just the unspoken words between her and me. 

'I won't let the distance affect our friendship.'

Sat at a taxi and off I went to her house. We were all supposed to meet up at her house by 6.30pm. While waiting for the others, I played building blocks with her younger brother, who was only 10 years old this year. May Xuan was busy arranging the stuffs in her luggage in the other room. We were building a plastic house model in the living room. 

He solemnly brushed the glue on one of the grey, plastic stick evenly as I watched him do so. He concentrated really hard to not brush the glue on the wrong place.

As he balanced the plastic stick in between the two grey platforms I held up for him, he suddenly spoke.

"I'm going to miss her."

I blinked before letting out a sniff.

"Yeah, me too."

May Xuan holding a photo frame with a group photo of us, done by Candice and Jo Yen :)