Tiffany

I gotta admit, its pretty nice :) 

Thanks to Pn Bodjit's table. Hahaha.. 

Hmmm... I like my photos for this one :D woots.. The focus is a bit too soft tho... Hmm....

It looks dreamy and a bit blurry....

Blurred lines. Haha

I was already expecting this to happen. Things like giving more stuff to my bro and yeah. I don't blame them. But its really obvious there is a change in attitude in mom and dad. Haha. 

That friendliness in everything. Wow... 

But Heng jee is still the same. Clumsy, selfish, thinks like the world revolves around him, still doesn't know how to be polite for an entire adult session. 

When I pointed it out, he said,"Well, that's me. I don't change for anyone. If you can't accept for who I am, then leave!" 

Lol. He interpreted the saying "Don't change who you are for someone." wrongly. That's not how you apply it in life, I told my bro. He is too oblivious to care anyway.  

Changing who you are as in making yourself to be someone who you are not, like because of someone, you decided to change yourself from a person who hates smoking to someone who does just to please that someone. Get it? 

Ahhh.. My bro doesn't get it tho. 

John invited us for ice skating on Saturday. I agreed but bro didn't want it at first. But, just me being me, I told John my bro said yes. Haha. Why miss the fun just because someone say no when deep inside his heart, all he wanted to do is to relax from matriculation. 

I'm saying yes for my bro actually, I had plans for the night like studying Sejarah. 

Mom disagreed about the plan. But Dad supported my idea of releasing stress and first time experiences :) so a bit of discussion with parents and I tell my bro about the plan.

Heng jee ended up quarreling with me for a bit but its worth it. He didn't want to get out from the ice skating ring after we skated for more than an hour and a half. He can now ice skate. He enjoyed his time. 

Annnndddd there is me! I fell down 3 times on my butt ;( it hurts but I can now at least skate slowly. Haha. Well :) 

Sacrifices of a sister which no one sees.

I'm happy :) 

But then, as I was scrolling Twitter, I saw a picture and I really wanna challenge myself in drawing that human portrait.

Its definitely some kpop artist (duh) but I dont know why and what causes me to be so inspired to draw haha

And I learnt a new shading technique... I'm still not good at it but it kinda works and gave a smooth glow like shadow (what.) I only use that technique on the nose tho but yeah.

I personally think that its not really nice, its like just another drawing.... Hmmmm... And I shouldn't use a sharpie. 

I dunno man.... >< blekkkk 

Hmmm....

I'm still thinking about what i should do for Ivan since he gave me so much :/ 

.....

....

...

..

.

I thought of something, but I'm not really sure how to do it. I got some slight ideas on how to make it :) 

But first, I need the materials which are......... 

I'm not gonna tell. It shall be a surprise until I'm done with SPM. 

I probably have like 5 days or more to finish the present :3 

Hehe... 

I'm planning to buy presents for all the birthday peeps I'd missed this year. It has always been either a card or a random gift, so I'm gonna go on a shopping spree to buy the gifts :) yay

Why am I thinking about after SPM and not studying?? ._. >< 

Ngaw. 

I reached Neekee's house at 2.30pm and watched Peter Pan (childhood memories) and The Big bang Theory. And then Cassie came all prepared with her prom dress and nails :O but she complained a lot about how others looked prettier than her when she went to do her hair. Hahaha... 

Hmm.. I did a bit of makeup for Cassie too since she wanted some. And I did mine myself :P just a simple one tho... Heavy makeups sucks :P 

Then we waited for Chiu yan before going to the hotel :) 

The first thing we did after reaching was going to the TOILET. Apparently none of the girls there knows where is the toilet and we were all like " =_= ".seriously... After we found the toilet, everyone just started rushing in. Blahhhhh. 

Haha then Ivan gave me a card... I was surprised cos' I TOLD HIM NOT TO GIVE ME ANYTHING. And he did. With the design of a Jack card too :') I'm touched. Thanks >< I couldnt stop reading it when i got home and realized how much spelling errors he made. Hahahaha.

Btw, Neekee and I got Starbucks :3 

Then we took a lot of pics with people. Lol. 

OH OH AND AND IVAN GAVE ME A BRACELET. Which explains all the question he had been asking me like are you right handed and stuff. Haiya.... But thanks for the not so surprising surprise, I will take good care of it ^^ I love it too haha thank youuuuuu <3 

Fast forward to the start of the event, the first dish sucks ttm. I'm not a goat or a caterpillar. Its like, leaves and olive oil lol. I shouldnt say that, but damn i paid rm 170. The second dish was mushroom soup ._. I'm not complaining since it tasted better than the others. And the 3rd dish was... Dry. Its chicken with sauces and all but I couldnt finish them. Even Ivan couldn't. No regrets saying yes for being his prom date tho hahahaha anddddd dessert. Dessert was awfully sweet, too sweet tbh. Maybe one of the chefs mistaken one tablespoon of sugar to one bucket of sugar.

Then it was SLOW DANCE TIME. I didn't realize it was until Ivan nudged me constantly. And Julian told me its slow dance time. HAHAHAHA. 

I didn't want to do it at first cos' I was really REALLY SHY. And I dunno how to dance and its with someone I liked???????? Ek. 

It was awkward for the first few minutes until it went into a hug kind of dance hahaha i dunno how to describe that but its probably one of the best feelings to have when you are still in your high schools :') 

AND IT LASTED LIKE WHAT? 15 MINUTES? I JUST STARTED ENJOYING THE COMPANY WITH HIM :( :( 

And then it was a dance performance by Ivan's friends. Nice and hilarious too. And then dancefloor timeeeee. 

I hate it. I'm not sure if Ivan wanted to dance with his friends or not, tho he kept saying no... But he looked like he wanted to -.- so i felt bad for pulling him out from the crowd ._. :( 

Oh and we held hands. 

I dunno how but it just came naturally. So. Yeah. 

._. 

Then we spent the last minutes talking at the stairs, looking outside the window :) 

It has been a great time with my friends, tho I still think it wasn't worth the money :P But all's well when it ends well :)

Thanks to Ivan for proposing. I never thought it would even happen, I remembered thinking that its impossible but I guess I was really wrong. And thanks for not making things so terribly awkward like what happened between Chiu Yan and Stewart :P haha 

And the card! Ohmaigosh.. The efforts made to do the card was incredible. I dunno how to write back to you now ;( 

And the bracelet. Its simple and cute ^^ 

Same goes with this. I HONESTLY DUNNO WHAT TO DO FOR YOU NOW... Its not like I'm going out anywhere to get you any thing :( i feel so bad :( 

T.T 

TT.TT 

Sigh. I suck in making a surprise. 

I'll try to think of something i guess :( 

><

Last week and the oast few days had been absolutely hectic. Anyway, today's paper was Biology and Moral. I didn't have enough time to memorise all the definations but I'm lucky enough to be able to answer the questions with the limited nilais i have in my small brain. 

And bio. Haha. I have no comments at all. 

I had been sleeping past 12.30am since Sunday and this routine goes on till yesterday. And now, its 10.50pm and I'm going to sleep. 

It was a stressful day today, but it all turned better when I realized that there ARE people who really notices the small things. 

I felt blessed ^^

(Wait, I'm not a christian ._. ) 

(Mehh, who cares.) 

Nites :3

I'm not confident with my pra trials exam at all, but one thing is that for this one month, I'm gonna work really hard and get 9A+ AT LEAST. 

So, I will work hard. 

I want that results really bad, and I'm gonna get it. 

Get into Pharmacy and excel in it. 

Yeahh, that's what I want. 

For now at least. 

Let's go hardcore babe, I got a goal to achieve. 

Not because you kept reminding them to do so, but they realized them because they cared. 

And when you found those people that cared about you, do the same thing too. 

Don't be selfish. 

Think about others too. 

Think what you can do to help others.

Haha. Its gonna be Add maths paper 1 and BM paper 2 so I should start studying on komsas. 

Qi told me about stuff on the reasons why she isn't Julian's prom date. Now both of them are feeling guilty :| one is guilty for calling it off, one is guilty for asking her as prom date.

Then it was Chun Ken's birthday yesterday and SueZanne gave him a birthday present. I never asked what she gave but seriously, she was sad because he tore the wrapping paper that she designed herself. 

I kinda feel guilty too. Because I was the one that suggest to her to design her own wrapping paper since she don't have time to buy. 

And she spent loads of time designing it, so... Jeez. She even have a notebook to compare and choose which designs are the best. 

An this morning she was still heartbroken. And Chun Ken was feeling guilty too. But he was blaming her for being so sensitive too :/ 

Hmmm....

Should I be guilty too? 

Well, its just a suggestion.... But since she took it, does it mean I'm part of the blame now? :O 

NOOOOOOO /.\

是自己笨。怪不了谁。

是自己自私。

是自己胆小。 

是自己不敢面对事实。

别人看不起我， 我不怪他们。也许现在会有人注意到我是因为我戴上了一幅假面。喜欢我的人，应该只喜欢我的好方。我不可犯错，要不然别人就会对我有了不好的眼。

为什么不做自己啊？

为什么这么要讨别人的心？

为什么？！

我恨自己了。自己白痴。自己笨蛋。

结果受最多伤害、吃了最多苦的人是谁？

是我。

就是我。

片体鳞伤的我。

心里就是有哪一部分，在那儿痛着呢？

哭着呢？